On Not Getting Laid

I’m always amazed at authors who trumpet the benefits of, uh, restraint. Thoreau, for instance, in Walden: “The generative energy, which, when we are loose, dissipates and makes us unclean, when we are continent invigorates and inspires us. Chastity is the flowering of man; and what are called Genius, Heroism, Holiness, and the like, are but various fruits which succeed it. Man flows at once to God when the channel of purity is open.” Me, I’ve never noticed any such thing, no holiness, no heroism. Sex, it seems to me, has no effect on anything beyond relationships and, briefly, our own mental state. Turn it on, and you get a brief burst of giddiness followed by the usual complications; turn it off and it’s the usual humdrum nothingness.

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